9 rules of Inner Leadership
Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality.
Warren Bennisut
In Toastmasters you have some notions of leadership that you not only learn, but it is also the place where at every step you find an opportunity to apply them in a practical matter by public speaking or by being part of different teams. If you have not read articles in which I talked more about what it means to be part of this organization, press the „Toastmasters” tag from the this article.
Becoming an adult comes (in the first place) with taking on responsibility and owning the good things, the mistakes, the decisions and your life, in general. Also somewhere around the time you develop friendships outside your family, leadership kicks in, if you like it or not. Because even if you don’t want, there are going to be people who will look up to you, upfront or from afar. So maybe, from time to time give yourself the space to think of this - when I was a leader for my circles? In leadership, like in training and public speaking it should be about people, not about you. And to understand this, you need to grow up, let your ego take a long and ”never return” walk and understand that your actions have reactions. For me, leadership has 9 fundamentals, easy to identify and that you apply first to you, becoming an inspiration to others. And I was glad to find some of this in the “Inner Leadership” from Dale Carnegie - where my belief that you cannot be a leader for other people unless you start with yourself. And it was such an amazing training that even if years had past from it - I still find useful insights in that small notebook I got and in the notes I took while there.
Know your personal values — and own them and the ways you know that your personal values are respected or not by others. Communicate them to people in an empathic way and let them know when they break them, because not everyone has the same ”ticks” as you, by speaking about your limits.
Take responsibility - Don't blame others, don't apologise for things you didn’t do. But own your mistakes! They are yours, get over obstacles, be responsible for your own life. Embrace the truth, it is your life and you do not need to apologise for the path you want to follow. But also do not trample on other’s people beliefs, limits and opinions.
Tell the truth - look for ways in which how you tell the truth will not intentionally offend or hurt the people around you. But no matter how hard it is to identify your priorities, do it and when someone or something is not part of it, say it without beating the bush about it and follow number 2.
Find your passion - find that spark that will always make you move on. When you find that something you are passionate about it will always give you reasons to "take the extra mile" even in difficult situations, instead of looking for excuses or reasons to self-sabotage.
Identify solutions, not problems - it is said that there are people who have a problem for each solution, do not be one of those. With an open attitude, you will begin to see the solutions to every challenge. And to educate your brain to do this, stop using the word ”problem” (you'll self-sabotage and block yourself), replace it with ”challenge” (then you'll be more relaxed and the solutions will come easier)
Make things happen - sometimes it's good to be patient, but good things happen to those who are looking for them. The action, most of the time is the apprehension of the brave, and they manage to go where others only dream. So be one of those bold people! Find out what you want, draft a plan of actions, a timeline and start working on it.
Make connections important - every person who comes into your life has a story behind it, don't judge them and when you give part of your self to someone else make it 100%. Don't expect anything in return, no one owes you. If you ”pay” with your attention - you do it because you chose that. Really listen, give your sincere and unbiased opinion when asked for it. And… if you have nothing good to say about a person, you better shut up. If you really want to say something about a third person, focus on the actions not on the person. Just like when you offer feedback, focus on the process that can be improved, not on the person.
Give credit — no one was born with all the knowledge! We feel extremely good when someone praises us, our work or our actions. So give credit to people. Doing so in the larger group is all the more flattering. However, if the result came as a team effort, then credit them all - as a team. Give your gratitude to those who have taught you something, no matter how small that thing was. You will see in their eyes how much a simple "thank you" means and you will see how 90% of them don’t know how to react.
Make a difference! Believe it or not, we touch the lives of those we encounter, through a word, a touch, an action or a reaction. Respect your word, if you do not want to do something say this, own it, do not come up with excuses, be present, do not offend, do not judge, accept that the world is different and that it is good thing that it is this way, accept who you are and go your way without stepping on the bodies in your path.
bonus - create other leaders - you are a true leader when you created other leaders not followers. Inspire, believe and support those around you - this is true leadership! And this is also about your inner leadership!
Not a part of the list but lead by example. We are millions of people, to live in a beautiful society, surrounded by great things, change begins with us. Don't expect others to do it on your behalf. You want the world to stop crossing when the red sign is on? Then stop doing it, even when nobody sees you.
The people who inspire are those who, for example, make things happen. Ask yourself what you can change (in you, your actions, decisions) - a small, small thing, every day in order to make your universe just a bit more beautiful. Do this, step by step and be the change you want to see in the world!
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
