Change of perspective - yes, and…

“I believe that words are strong, that they can overwhelm what we fear when fear seems more awful than life is good.”

Andrew Solomon

During the ”Never Done Before” a 24 hours facilitation festival with more than 45 workshops I participated to a session held by Myriam Hadnes - one of the podcasters I listen. During the one hour session she presented an exercise - simple by delivery, but such a great tool to change perspective and mindset.

It takes 3 times to play it, in pairs.

First round you share an idea with a lot of details while the listener responds with ”No…” and then offers all the information why the idea is a bad one. The second step is to change places, the listener becomes the speaker.
The now speaker shares another idea and the listener responds with ”Yes, but…” then share his/her ideas, why the idea can’t be implemented. Of course, here comes round three - they exchange places in order to experience it.
Third step: The new speaker shares his/hers idea and the listeners responds with ”Yes, and…” then shares the reverse of the presented Idea. Basically, giving another point of view.

This exercise gets you a way to rewired your brain to accept all you receive. And it is a great way to offer constructive feedback in a conversation while being empathic. Because in order to fill in the space after “yes, and…” you need to pay attention to the conversation, searching for the things that you agree on, you need to listen in order to understand not only to reply.

Even though it is a training exercise you can use it in a coaching conversation, in a feedback - performance conversation or in a normal conversation where you want to show your empathy towards the other person [I hope all of your conversations are like this :)]

If you try it - let me know how it worked out for you.